Talking about loss

I’ve been an educator for about 35 years and a business owner for almost 30 years. In my early days when I was a speaker talking about how to be a leader, it seemed so easy, so I took the plunge myself. I thought, “I should just jump in.” Haha, boy oh boy, not easy at all.

>> Watch this FaceBook Live where I talked about loss.

Although there are times when leading is easy—no drama, cruising and crushing it—we don’t say to ourselves, This is so easy. I don’t think we appreciate those times. It’s when things go south that everyone hears about how hard it is to be a leader. Recognizing when it’s not hard is the piece that we shouldn’t leave out. We have to get present to the purpose and fulfillment of what we do and why we do it. Stop and smell the roses, as they say. Why? Because balance is important, and if things are ALWAYS GOING WRONG, or that’s the only thing we are talking about, we FEEL like that is the whole of our job…thus feeling out of balance on the wrong side of Lady Justice.

In all of my time as a business owner, I have had pockets of time where I was not fulfilled with what I was doing and chunks of times that I have been very fulfilled. To me, I need to be able to weigh this out, to speak to both feelings in a way that makes sense to me. I always preach that if 80% of life is fair or easy or going your way, we should be able to handle when the shitty 20% hits, which belongs in what I call the “fuck-it bucket.” It seems doable. 

Let’s talk about this past year. I agree with the majority that there have been some damn tough patches. I’m not sure that I’m hitting the 80% fulfillment meter. BUT, when we weigh out our year, there are great things that have happened. I know there is also a lot of loss. Loss of staff, guests, maybe loved ones, businesses, friendships, and beyond. I want to funnel down “loss” for the sake of this conversation to loss of staff. We are all going through our challenges. I work with clients who are going through it. We are going through it in our salons too. 

We have two choices. We can emotionally fold, or we can rise! We have to make a conscious decision. I think about it in three ways:

  1. Recruit, recruit, recruit and retain, retain, retain.
  2. Be in action—move your feet from here in the direction of where you want to be.
  3. Stay in front of the conversation, vision, and alignment.